How different are we? (josh tikka)

So I was walking down Lower Wacker with Lindsey and her mom, and we were talking about a friend of ours who we just talked to. Lindsey had spent most of last weekend in prayer and conversation with and for our friend, and we had just left a short, slightly awkward, one-sided conversation, wherein our friend was hesitant to say anything of any real importance or significance. This friend of ours has been struggling to get a state I.D. lately and Lindsey gave our friend all the information and resources needed for getting one. Our friend had a week to do it. And they didn't, they were busy, without having done anything...

As we walked away, we wondered why. Why do our friends sometimes refuse or reject our help?

I started getting introspective (as I do too often) and came to a point of realization, I reject, resist, and refuse the help of others just as much as any one friend on the street. I become awkward around people who know I need their help, and I get bitter to those I see as "better off" than myself. I get angry at people who I think have no right to think they are better than me, without having any proof to suggest they actually think they are better than me. I see advances to help as flaunting superiority, and I view grace towards me as a deficiency highlighter.

Why do (not always, but sometimes) our friends on the street resist and reject our loving, genuine and sincere (not always, sometimes) advances to help them and see them as better off? Well, why do our friends in the suburbs refuse the same support when they are struggling with work-aholism? Bad parenting? Failing relationships? Pornography addiction? Anorexia? Pride, bitterness, jealousy, etc. etc. etc. etc.

Maybe it's not just a “homeless person thing”. Maybe it's not their pride that holds them back. Maybe it's all of our pride. I feel as though (form my limited and narrow scope) that CB has taught me something vital about the state of humanity: people are prideful, bitter, and presumptive, and it's our weaknesses and flaws that we don't want admitted or exposed that often repress us more than anyone or anything else. To quote Barbara Brown Taylor, "If I had to name my disability, I would call it an unwillingness to fall ... This reluctance signals the mistrust of the central truth of the Christian gospel: life springs from death, not only at the last but also in the many little deaths along the way. When everything you count on for protection has failed, the Divine Presence does not fail. The hands are still there -- not promising to rescue, not promising to intervene -- promising only to hold you no matter how far you fall."

I wonder if the serious implications of refusing our help to our friends who are left cold, hungry, and un-sheltered on the street can be realized for us. Surely these things aren’t proportional in the physical realm. But what about in the emotional, spiritual, and social realms? I would argue, and have experienced, spiritual, emotional, and social wasting-homelessness, if you will (the absence of comfort, protection, safety, and joy)- due to my own inability to help myself out of jams that partly I, partly the world, partly others were responsible for, but that I, fully, denied the reality or importance of, out of laziness and a denial of my own fallibility.

As Lindsey her mom and I walked on, I saw an old, and dear friend whom I haven't heard from since Pat and I had seen him in Wacker months and months and months ago. Last we saw him he was trying to get out to Wayside. We tried to help, he got arrested. We didn't really hear from him since then (that I can recall). Out of the blue he shows up, broken, desperate, hurting, and wants to go back to Wayside. My prayer is that he doesn't let the flaw of not trusting in God's ability, willingness and desire to transform our brokenness into His glory, get in the way of allowing God to transform his brokenness, into HIS glory.

2 Timothy 2:11-13. “Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. we disown him, he will also disown us; 
if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, 
for he cannot disown himself.”

Even when our pride causes us to be faithless to our Father who promises that our humility, faith, and repentance will result in our good and His glory, “He will remain faithful for HE cannot disown Himself”.

-josh tikka

WHAT'S THIS BLOG FOR?!

Well, as I have already done the first post, I might as well introduce what it's for:

whatever...

Basically, the different individual leaders will post their musings, lessons, learnings, and advice from CB. They will vary I'm sure and we'll see how it all works out.

The person who writes that particular entry ill sign the top and bottom, and the in between stuff will be written by them.

Tim Meyer is basically running the design layout and other technical stuff that no one should have enough time for (thanks Tim!) and that's how we role!

Hope you enjoy reading, and check this out for the time being: Thanks Zach!

-Josh Tikka

How Amazing People Destroy Stereotypes, Build up the Church, and Glorify God- (Josh Tikka)

Like our friend Stunt (the names have been and will be changed until I figure out how I feel about putting people's real names in), whose story I don't want to share with people who don't know it, but it is a mix of pain, mistakes, bad fortune, and perseverance all bundled together for enough warmth to get through the winter (what the what?). Stunt came out of nowhere Saturday night, and brought his big brother, (I forget his name). I got to talk with his big brother for about 20 minutes. It was amazing. He gave me a lot of simple, simple wisdom, (stay humble, stay close to God, don't get ahead of yourself, etc., etc.). His openness really made my night. He had a rough past with a lot of mistakes and more regrets. But he has a few kids, and from the sound of it, they are all doing great, and somehow, most of them attribute it to their father.

He would ask them, how is it that they were able to grow and mature and become real men and women despite his behavior and poor example. They would tell him, "you always taught us, and always told us how to live, and how to love, and we learned from you even though you weren't learning from yourself."

That kind of amazes me. The grace God showed on his family, to not grow resentful or bitter towards him or God for talking the talk without walking the walk.

It reminds me of Fish, an ordained minister, fiery preacher, and humble servant. An addict nonetheless, and a liar who consistently runs from all forms of friendship and fellowship to ensure his high. When he's around though, he cries in repentance. Is stone cold silent in conviction, and one of the most encouraging men we meet out on the street. He's one of my best friends, and I know that's not something that would be reciprocated. I've learned more from him than most pastors I've met, and his knowledge of the scriptures is remarkable. But his love of the world, and addiction holds him back so much. It's terrifying and encouraging to see.

I was just thinking about that this past saturday- Stunt's brother, and Fish are proof that God uses us, and loves us, and seeks us, regardless of our past mistakes, present sins, and future sufferings.

I want to have those eye's, the eyes God has. I've met a lot of people the past two years doing this. And I had met a lot of people before doing this too. I don't think it's that the people changed and are now more deserving of my amazement or love, but I think that it's God changed me. I see (both from the homeless dudes on the street, and just my weirdo friends who come with) that all life is a gift, and all life is a joy. It is beautiful, and I want to cherish every laugh, whisper, lesson, story, adventure, and mistake, and look at the person not as a semblance of what they have or have done- but as Christ sees them: greater than himself. I guess my prayer for us, or at least myself right now is, that we would have eyes to see the absolute, unmistakeable beauty and joy in all people at all places through all times.

I wonder how different my life, and CB's community would look like with those eyes.

This is a kind of a vague, strange, highly conceptual and less story-like entry, but I'm a little tired don't really know what this blog is supposed to look or sound like any ways...

-Josh Tikka